Late

It's about 2am and I'm just settling in for the night. It's a pattern that develops when I work overnight shifts at work. I get home around 2:30am and sleep most of the next morning/afternoon.

I didn't work today but I'm awake. I feel anxious; I feel antsy. I need to take a step and I have many different ones in my mind. But I'm not sure where to go.

100 new job – full time, benefits, works.
Part time substitute teach – make myself available a few days a week.
Maybe weekend waitress, while back at school – focus unknown.

(I should tell you at this point in writing this I have no idea if I will post it or not.)

I can't settle my brain enough, and I know it's my fear and ego mind talking. I recognize this. I've been trained to work against this. But I somehow can't seem to find the peace and wisdom I deserve.

Things are very stressful. My sister is getting married and my sister in law just had a baby! There are events going on at work that make it difficult to have a good attitude there.

I know I can change how I view things in my life. I know I can choose to see the difficulties as blessings on the way to a better place. For some reason I can't let myself allow the universe to work. I feel myself blocking it.

And I have to do something about it.

On the FAM front, my cycles are very long, it's taking 2 months at this point. I had this issue when I was in college. But my inner blocks are could also be having an affect, seeing as its why I haven't been updating my experience.

This read more like a diary, but I'm ok with it. I can be the only one who deals with spiritual blocks.

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My favorite people and Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday

I’m sharing this with anyone who has the will to watch because it’s free wisdom. If you already watch Super Soul Sunday, you know what it’s about. if you don’t, this is a great little intro to give you a clue. It’s a wonderful program created by OWN to open our eyes and hearts every Sunday morning so we can live with just a little more love and God in our lives. Today three of my favorite people were the featured guests and let me tell you, I was in tears a few times during the episode.

It’s honestly so refreshing to know that so many people care about the connection we can all have to our truest self. I spent so long denying it and trying to alter myself on the outside to fit in when I really needed to be accepting myself inside and helping the world to align with myself by changing my own thoughts and beliefs. I couldn’t have done that without the outstanding guidance of Gabrielle Bernstein. And thanks to her, I was able to discover other amazing thinkers and speakers, such as the two with her on Super Soul Sunday today, Mastin Kipp and Marie Forleo – both people who have since given me amazing amounts of wisdom in my daily life, among others.

The episode today really brought me back to that place of peace again as I collected my thoughts surrounding the topics that were raised. I hope it does the same for you.

 

Super Soul Sunday 11/18