It's about 2am and I'm just settling in for the night. It's a pattern that develops when I work overnight shifts at work. I get home around 2:30am and sleep most of the next morning/afternoon.

I didn't work today but I'm awake. I feel anxious; I feel antsy. I need to take a step and I have many different ones in my mind. But I'm not sure where to go.

100 new job – full time, benefits, works.
Part time substitute teach – make myself available a few days a week.
Maybe weekend waitress, while back at school – focus unknown.

(I should tell you at this point in writing this I have no idea if I will post it or not.)

I can't settle my brain enough, and I know it's my fear and ego mind talking. I recognize this. I've been trained to work against this. But I somehow can't seem to find the peace and wisdom I deserve.

Things are very stressful. My sister is getting married and my sister in law just had a baby! There are events going on at work that make it difficult to have a good attitude there.

I know I can change how I view things in my life. I know I can choose to see the difficulties as blessings on the way to a better place. For some reason I can't let myself allow the universe to work. I feel myself blocking it.

And I have to do something about it.

On the FAM front, my cycles are very long, it's taking 2 months at this point. I had this issue when I was in college. But my inner blocks are could also be having an affect, seeing as its why I haven't been updating my experience.

This read more like a diary, but I'm ok with it. I can be the only one who deals with spiritual blocks.

Things I’m working on for the New Year on the Blog!

Hey guys, I know yesterday was quite a downer so I just wanted to quickly check in with some things I really want to push forward as we move through into 2013! I’m really excited for what I’ve got planned and I can’t wait to get things going. 

First, book reviews. I’ll be doing my best to do a book review (two if I have time) a month. These may be novels, self-help, or inspirational books. I have one already set for January, and you’ll hear more about that in the coming weeks. 

I also want to really focus on doing at least three longer posts a week, and keep you all motivated and inspired with the quotes I throw in as I come upon them. But I need your help, too! If you want to support me, please drop a comment on this post and let me know what you’d like to see more of on the blog. Is there a topic you want me to address? Do you want my opinion on an even, or just have a question about how I’ve handled things in my past? OR, is there a book you’d like to ask my opinion on…you’re not sure if you want to invest and perhaps I’ve taken a look? Do you want more inspiration, more spirituality, more food and physical health posts? Let me know, I’m here for YOU.

Have a beautiful day, xx.