I’m at a very interesting point in my life. Emotionally, spiritually, and well…actually.
I live with my aunt and uncle and bratty 17 year old cousin (male), rent free, while I work and finish school. The story of how I got here is too long. But I’m here. And I’m fairly self-sufficient and things run pretty smoothly for us here.
One thing I have had to work very hard at keeping intact is my own truth. I am very different from this family. Sure, we have similar values and my aunt and uncle only want what’s best for me. But we have different ideas of WHAT those things are, and how I should go about getting to them.
Admittedly, I’m a very emotionally sensitive person. I’m very empathic. I’m also very positive and kind. I don’t like to make others feel bad or put them down. My 17 year old cousin, on the other hand, thinks it’s HILARIOUS to torture me and make me feel like shit and have to get defensive. And my aunt just tells me to throw it back at him, don’t let it get to me. But…that’s not who I am. I can’t come up with insults off the cuff because I DON’T ENJOY GIVING THEM. Why should I enjoy making other people feel bad, even if it’s just a joke? It’s not funny.
So as hard as it is, and as much as it hurts, I have to learn to let it roll off my back. Some days I can’t and I really take it to heart. Other times I can just ignore it and remind myself that I am MADE OF LOVE and don’t have to worry about anything else. I forgive him and move on.
In a similar vein, I have professional differences with my aunt. She is a third year law student and former government employee. She and my uncle are both academics. I’m taking an extra semester to finish school, and I don’t even want to think about grad school. My aunt is all about The Plan – having one and executing one. I’m SO not. I let life comes as it happens. I take care of myself, my money and my life and I look for things that make me happy. I go with the flow and know that there is a universal plan for me and that everything is going to be a-okay.
Decisions? I don’t make ’em. I hate making ’em. I only make ’em if my life or well being depends on it. I don’t even know what I want to do after graduation. And honestly, I’m SICK of being told what I should be doing by someone who really doesn’t get me. She doesn’t get my close relationship with my mother. She doesn’t get that not EVERYTHING depends on The Plan.
So my lesson here to you is DON’T LOSE YOUR TRUTH. Don’t let people around you try to stifle what you know in your heart and gut to be real. Because if you feel it that deeply and passionately then, IT’S REAL and nobody can take it away from you.