Small Thought For Today

Hi all, 

It’s Sunday, and I have the day off from work, so that means I’m relaxing in my lounge clothes, doing facials, dancing around the kitchen and catching up on some reading. I’m also taking good care of myself by making yummy meals that I love and are pretty healthy for me. Like many, I take Sunday’s as a spiritual day and remember to be present for the entire week. 

This isn’t a real blog post, and I’m not even going to tag it, so you can read it or not. It’s more for me. It’s just a thought that came through my mind today and I really want to put it out into the world so I can keep on track with it.

I’ve had some issues with alcohol in the past, it’s no secret. I’m not an alcoholic, nor have I ever been. However, the disease does run in the family and I’ve always been aware of that. I have had trouble rejecting peer pressure in the past and have had a few nights I’d like to forget, and a few that I wish I could remember. Lately I’ve been trying to cut back. I love good whisky and good wine so I don’t think going cold turkey is the answer, whatsoever. But I’ve begun to limit myself to two drinks – that was Christmas Eve. On Christmas day I had two white wine spritzers, so maybe the equivalent of 1.5 glasses of wine. Later, though, when dessert came around I had more and more wine. I figured “Eh, it’s a holiday, fuck it.” And that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t get drunk and I didn’t feel badly the next day. But it felt silly because drinking didn’t change the experience in a positive way. 

So today I thought to myself, “The world is SO beautiful. Why would I want to make it hazy and blurry with too much alcohol? Why would I want to feel sick in the morning?” So I’m trying again. I will enjoy and indulge, but I’m no longer the club-hopping, shot-doing, dizzy drunken girl I used to be. I don’t want to be that.

Have a beautiful Sunday, xx. 

Don’t be afraid to CREATE a practice that is YOURS.

In the realm of spiritual growth and personal enlightenment and well-being, there are a lot of different ways to go.

You can stick to a religious path, your birth religion in Christianity, Islam, Paganism, etc. Or you can follow someone’s spiritual jargon down to the letter. You can choose to become a vegan, if you so desire. You can choose to go to the gym every day in the name of Spirit and feeling more wholly yourself. You can choose to give up alcohol and other drugs that alter your mind or create problems for you if that is the case. You can choose to let go of your prescriptions and learn how to control your mind and body in other ways. 

You can do all these things.

But you don’t have to.

It’s taken me some time on my own spiritual wellness path to recognize that I can’t choke down a green smoothie. (Juices, when made properly, I LOVE…but the blender stuff…not for me!) I also really enjoy good wine and I swear that my anti-depressants saved my life. All of the ideas so many spiritual thinkers put forth are amazing. It’s great advice to cleanse your body in order to cleanse your mind. But you can’t go cold turkey and you can’t do it over night. And you shouldn’t have to, by any stretch. I love Shepherd’s pie and milk in my tea way too much to go vegan. And I’m so happy with the softness and curves of my body that I don’t think about the gym…like…ever. I’m good with a walk or two around the block with the dog and a solid 20 minutes of yoga 4-5 times a week. 

I do struggle to create a functional, stable Sadhana – but I’m working on it! I pray in the morning before I get out of bed. I try to stretch and/or meditate every morning. I take my time, I think about the moment, I’m grateful and I forgive. I eat foods that I enjoy and that get me going in the morning. I take my medication and my vitamins with care. I read. And then I get ready for my day/work/what have you. Sometimes it changes and sometimes I can’t finish everything I’d like. But I TRY. Which, to me, is the most important aspect of a spiritual practice. If you TRY in the direction of spiritual growth and bettering yourself so you may better the world, God is always on your side and your happiness will flow freely. 

So next time you’re reading and start thinking “well, I don’t know if I necessarily agree with that…” just let it be. DON’T try to force yourself to change too much. If you don’t like to call the Creative force or Spirit ‘God’ then…don’t. She doesn’t care what you call her, as long as you talk to her. Breathe into your own practice. As long as your thoughts and actions have Love behind them, you can’t go wrong. 

Have a BEAUTIFUL day, xx. 

Holidays and Letting it Flow

Happy Holidays! Whatever you celebrate, I hope that this season is bringing you joy, love and light. As the days begin to get longer, and the new year beckons, we begin to stop and consider ourselves a bit more. We take a look at what we can do to make ourselves feel better physically, mentally and emotionally. 

If you’re anything like me (or the rest of the world), the holiday season can bring up a ton of emotions and fears. Families get together, things can get tense and sometimes we lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle. But what we need to do is focus and let it go. Realize, for a minute, what you were doing this time last year. Recognize it, and recognize the change from last year to now. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished and then let it go. Remember to always be present. Yes, this is a time for reminiscing and for thinking about the future. But because of that, it is especially important to be present. 

If you struggle with anything at this time of year, take it easy on yourself. This season marks one year since I began to hit bottom and get some serious help for my eating disorders and cutting. I didn’t stop completely a year ago, but I began my journey toward healing. So even though a year ago I was so, so far worse off, I still get very anxious when I realize I may have put on a little weight because of all the delicious cookies I’ve been munching on! But before I have panic attacks, I try to remind myself that next year, I’ll feel even better. And that the feeling of anxiety will pass. I remember that I know the truth of the situation, that I am love and I am loved. That’s all I need to remember.

That’s all you need to remember. If you’ve got something you’re trying to keep in check, whether it be an addiction or your tend to yell at your little brother for eating off your plate – just breathe and let go. Be happy you’ve made it this far and that your brother is there laughing next to you. 

have a beautiful holiday xx

Things I’m working on for the New Year on the Blog!

Hey guys, I know yesterday was quite a downer so I just wanted to quickly check in with some things I really want to push forward as we move through into 2013! I’m really excited for what I’ve got planned and I can’t wait to get things going. 

First, book reviews. I’ll be doing my best to do a book review (two if I have time) a month. These may be novels, self-help, or inspirational books. I have one already set for January, and you’ll hear more about that in the coming weeks. 

I also want to really focus on doing at least three longer posts a week, and keep you all motivated and inspired with the quotes I throw in as I come upon them. But I need your help, too! If you want to support me, please drop a comment on this post and let me know what you’d like to see more of on the blog. Is there a topic you want me to address? Do you want my opinion on an even, or just have a question about how I’ve handled things in my past? OR, is there a book you’d like to ask my opinion on…you’re not sure if you want to invest and perhaps I’ve taken a look? Do you want more inspiration, more spirituality, more food and physical health posts? Let me know, I’m here for YOU.

Have a beautiful day, xx. 

Prayers for Connecticut

As most of you know by now, a tragedy occurred today in Newtown, Ct. My heart is broken for these lost souls and their families, and also for the man who committed these acts. It takes someone in a very dark place to do something like this. 

I was born and raised in Connecticut, and I always knew that people thought well of our state. But I also knew that bad things could happen anywhere and everywhere, but I never thought something could feel like this. I’m not exactly sure how to express it, either. And I’m not exactly sure how I feel.

I don’t believe that it’s a gun control issue, whatsoever. Do what you want with guns, the man would have just found an axe or used his bare hands if he was that determined. I don’t really blame it on the media, either. I watch plenty of shows that can be considered violent or immoral and I would never, ever dream of something this unfortunate and horrendous. I don’t blame it on mental illness, per say. I do believe that this man must have had something going on. He must have been in a very difficult and dark place. I don’t think that it’s an excuse, by any stretch. But I do think that as a society we are taught to bottle everything up.

Don’t act out, you’ll get in trouble.

Boys, don’t cry or you’ll look like a wimp. 

Girls, you play with the dolls and boys, the soldiers with guns and other weapons. 

Be a MAN, take control. 

If we don’t express our feelings in a healthy way, they build up. They result in words, thoughts, and actions we may not otherwise bring to the surface. For years I was struggling with depression and not dealing with my emotions, and it led to serious issues with suicidal thoughts and self harm. 

Again, that is no excuse, but it’s a fact. And we can’t change other people until we take a good hard look at ourselves. You, and you and you all just need to take a minute and think, “how can I be more loving TO MYSELF.” Yep, I’m saying it – be a little selfish. Treat yourself a little more kindly, honor your emotions and let yourself really step into them and don’t try to push them down.

Treat yourself kinder; treat others kinder. 

The world can change and respond to these little actions, one step at a time. 

Please pray for the families of those beautiful children lost today, and the man who committed this crime. xx

Keeping Hope Alive as the World Gets Dark

I know that I’ve written about miracle set backs before on this blog already. But this blog also gives me a chance to vent out what I’m going through as it happens.

Lets just say, it hasn’t been the best week, and it’s only Wednesday! 

It started with little things, dropping a glass or being late for work. But then I got on edge, got into a car accident, and just completely fell apart. Now, here I am, my head filled with horrible thoughts of self-loathing and fear and I don’t know what to do. I find myself yearning for my addictions, wishing I had something to grasp on to.

Then, I figured it out. I was off balance. I was getting ready for bed and very literally TRIPPED over my meditation pillow. Like, seriously, what more of a sign could I need. It’s true, I had been away from home and very busy with travel, and I had been neglecting my meditations and yoga and prayer. So I stopped everything. I sat my butt down and listened. And I heard my ~ing say “CHILL THE F OUT GIRL. You’re moving too fast. Slow down, breathe, pray, stretch. Let it go and let it flow.”

So I did. I sat there and I did yoga. I said a lovely prayer before I went to bed and I released my anxieties to the universe, knowing they were taken care of. That’s not to say everything got better immediately, but it helped. And the next day I repeated the same thing. I resumed my usual schedule and things are slowly starting to feel better. Gone are the thoughts of returning to my dangerous addictions and actions. 

I also know, because that’s how it works, that because of all these crazy things happening that SOMETHING amazing is just around the corner. This is the universe telling me to get ahold of myself because something wonderful is about to come my way and I have to be able to receive it. And I can’t do that if I’m blocked and listening to my ego. 

So when shit hits the fan, turn it around. Turn back to love. Breathe, pray, meditate, listen to God. And you’ll be guided. 

Have a beautiful day. xx


Tomorrow Gabrielle Bernstein is leading a FREE course on How to Create What You Want in 2013. Anyone, anywhere can attend. When you pre-order her new book, May Cause Miracles, you’re automatically enrolled in the course. Plus you get bonus meditations & her audiobook intro!

I’ve already pre-ordered my copy of May Cause Miracles. The meditations are looking to be AMAZING and I’m so looking forward to joining the THOUSANDS of Spirit Junkies tomorrow who are all looking to experience a wonderful coaching sesh with Gabby! Join us!

I’ll be back with a full blog post tomorrow

Have a beautiful day, xx.